Colors
by Ravenus
Summary: Cas' POV: Green is the color of envy. And jealousy. Maybe this is the reason why I'm jealous beyond belief whenever Dean's meadow green eyes roam over the crowd in a bar./Dean's POV: Blue is the color of hope. So maybe that is why I always feel hope and joy when I look into Castiel's ocean blue eyes./ They both have to deal with their feelings. Jealous Cas/Angry Dean. Rated M.


Rated M

**Colors**

Castiel: Green

Green is the color of envy. And jealousy. Maybe this is the reason why I'm jealous beyond belief whenever Dean's meadow green eyes roam over the crowd in a bar, looking for a women who is beautiful and willing to leave this place with him to get laid. I hate it. Dean is a family man through and through, this isn't _him_, he needs more than this. I must know it because I am the one who gathered each and every fragment of his soul in my arms to put him back together, to make him whole again. I can still see that he doesn't _feel_ whole, he misses something and I know what it is though I cannot see how I can make him aware of it. His soul is like a puzzle but since I rose him from perdition there is one piece missing. I wasn't able to stop it from melting into my grace, it was Dean's decision to leave it there for all eternity.

I still sit next to Sam, observing Dean who sits opposite from me and has a nice view over the crowd in the bar. From the way his eyes are still roaming over the crowd he hasn't found a woman who pleases his eyes yet but before I can open my mouth to distract him from his search, his eyes settle on one place and he whistles under his breath. Instantly a green, ugly snake coils in the pit of my stomach, making me want to vomit. I never knew that feelings could have such a great impact on humans and sometimes it scares me to no end that I cannot control them from time to time.

While my thoughts are still racing through my head Dean already gets up from where he sits to walk over to the woman he has spotted. Sam follows him with his eyes, then turns back around to face me. I don't turn to watch, I don't want to see him flirt with some random girl, I don't want to see who he will take to bed tonight because it feels as if it would kill me to witness it. It kind of intimidates me to see how beautiful the women Dean chooses are. Obviously my hunter loves beautiful things and I'm far from anything you might call beautiful. I never even manage to comb my hair properly so it always seems like I just got out of bed and there is always this slight stubble around my jaw because I will never be able to handle a human body properly. I got used to taking a shower regularly and eating and sleeping but I'm far from perfect. But those women are. I have seen them often enough when they sneak out of the bunker in the morning, thinking that no one is even awake but I am and I hate it when I see them.

"Cas? Why are you sulking so badly?" Sam asks me, making me jump slightly on my chair. His intelligent hazel eyes watch me closely, trying to find out what makes me upset. Is it that obvious that I don't enjoy our little trips to bars and clubs? Maybe I should stay at home the next time.

"It's nothing, Sam. I'm just a bit tired." I answer, hoping that it will convince him. It doesn't.

"You're a poor liar. Something bothers you…" his voice trails off and he turns around again to look at his brother and the woman he sure holds in his arms by now. I'm fuming when I think about it and a snort leaves me before I can stop it, the sound making Sam turn around slowly, realization on his face. Oh crap, no! "Dean?" He just asks unbelievably, raising one eyebrow at me. No one is supposed to know, I can hardly deal with it myself. "You want my brother?" That roughly nails it. I hope my cheeks don't turn red, I try to act as if I don't know what Sam is talking about but as he said: I'm a bad liar.

"What?" I guess even the first word was too exasperated… "No, Sam, I'm just tired and I still try to adjust to this life. So I'm not sulking because of Dean." Or the women he takes home. Frequently. Right under my nose, showing me that he isn't interested at all, that I'm unworthy, out of their league. Sam doesn't seem convinced and though I have seen it coming I'm not sure what to do or say.

"You should go over to him right now, Cas." Sam says after he has turned once again to look at his brother. Within a split second my mind races through the scenario. It will make me a fool, it will make Dean laugh and worst of all: it would make the woman in his arms laugh as well – I'm not sure I could live through something like that. With a bitter laugh I shake my head vigorously no.

"Why would I do this?" I want to know. "Obviously he wants women. Not average-looking, male ex angels." Sam gives a snort and rolls his eyes impressively. I can see why Dean calls this bitch-faces.

"You think too less of yourself. Besides… I have seen the way Dean looks at you and I have seen how much he cares. He was the one who took you in after all and he was the one who was by your side the whole time. He wouldn't do this for everyone, you know?"

"I'm his friend. I will not destroy this because of some weird feelings I have for him, okay?" I didn't mean to shout at Sam but I did because I'm angry. At him, at Dean, at the woman he will take home tonight, who will be in Dean's bedroom that is right over the corridor opposite mine and most of all I'm angry at myself for falling in love with the human, for still loving him now that I'm human. I get up from the table so hastily that my chair nearly falls over.

"Cas…" Sam starts but before he can say anything else I stalk out of the bar. On my way out I catch a glimpse of Dean and the blonde who is all over him, her arms around his neck, her head thrown back in a fake flirty laugh, her hips glued to his. She's a stunner and knows it. The hunter's eyes meet mine and I cannot stand the intense gaze from those green eyes that haunt me into my dreams. I love these looks. That's why I fell for him in the first place. How dare he look at me like this while holding the blonde in his arms? I feel sick and once I get outside I gag and rush over to a dark corner, trying to suppress the urge to vomit but in vain. I hate being human and what it does to me. This body is so damn weak, feelings didn't have such an impact on me when I was an angel. Maybe it had to do with my powers. But my heart still hurts like before. I'm not sure how much longer I can stand this.

The green snake curls together more tightly than before, now, making me aware of what I cannot have even more. I gather the last bit of my strength and dignity and begin to walk home to the bunker.

Dean: Blue

Blue is the color of hope. So maybe that is why I always feel hope and joy when I look into Castiel's ocean blue eyes. Joy because he is the most beautiful thing I have ever lain eyes upon and hope because I hope he will notice my feelings for him someday. I guess he will not because I know how to hide them very well. I will always be there for him, I will always help him to adjust to being human whenever he needs me and I will do whatever it takes to make him happy. I don't dare to destroy this friendship with some weird feelings I have developed. In the beginning I thought it was just my hormones running wild but I don't just want him in my bed. I want him in my life, I want to share every secret with him and I want him to know everything about me though he already knows a lot. But not that my heart skips a beat whenever his baby blue eyes turn to mine and he looks at me with this damn unafraid gaze that is so fucking sexy. I never saw a person being able to appear so self assured and strong like Cas.

I will never tell him how I feel even if it will kill me. He was an angel for God's sake, a celestial being who has seen more than I ever will. He lived through the millennia and I'm just some filthy hunter who crossed his path. I'm nothing special and I guess I'm just too corrupted for someone like him. I've been to hell and purgatory, I have killed so many people, I wasn't able to save my friends and family, so many have lost their lives because of me, so how could an angel probably love someone like me? I will stand it, swallow it and go on like I always have, I will pretend that everything's fine and smile.

But from time to time I need some distraction and I need to convince myself that my charm is still working on the ladies. They don't know me, I can tell them whatever I want. Sometimes I introduce myself as a mechanic or firefighter, it doesn't matter because for strangers I'm just Dean. Not a hunter, not a person with blood on their hands, just Dean. Maybe this is why I still do it but who cares? Cas surely doesn't, he never said a word about it, so I suppose he is fine with all this. Hell, why should he care? He can have everyone he wants, his handsome face will make it easy for him to find a partner – male or female, I don't even know what he prefers.

Tonight we are sitting in yet another bar, nursing our drinks, Cas as far away from me as possible. He sits opposite me, next to Sam while I can watch most of the room from where I sit. I'm looking for a nice young woman I can take home tonight to forget my feeling for the black haired beauty who stares into his drink since we sit here. There are a lot of nice women but one catches my attention and when she looks over she winks and smiles, gesturing for me to come over to her. I don't hesitate. If I did I might look into Cas' blue eyes and falter though I'm in no way more than just his friend. My bad conscience might arise from my imagination and because I want him too much. The woman will be no cure for my heart but at least she will distract my mind for the rest of the night.

Her name is Evangeline, she tells me to call her Eve. I do and introduce myself as a simple accountant, nothing too fancy. The game is really simple: I tell her some lies, maybe she believes me and then we will go out to Baby which will impress her. My shiny car never fails to lure the ladies into my bed, guess this is some strange fetish most of them have. But we are still at the bar, talking nonsense, her high pitched voice easily understood over the noise of the others around us and the music that blasts through the speakers. I hate this part, I hate the flirting, I hate that they wanna talk before they get laid, this is way too personal for me but I endure it for this little distraction. Within a few minutes Eve's hands are everywhere, maybe this time will be a little faster.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see Cas get up from our table, obviously disturbed by something Sam has told him and I'm instantly alarmed, the woman forgotten while I watch the beautiful man stalk out of the bar so fast that he nearly stumbles over his own feet. His eyes find mine over the heads of the crowd and he stares at me accusingly though I have no clue what I have done that might have gotten him upset. Even in the dim light of the bar I can see the striking blue depths, the wonderful color burning itself into my brain for the rest of my life. I have never seen a person with such stunning blue eyes. God, does he even know what he does to me when he looks at me like that? I guess not because Cas leaves without another word, storming out the door in a haste. Shit.

"Excuse me, Eve. I guess a friend needs my help." I tell the woman in my arms and without waiting for another word from her I walk over to Sam, slamming my palms onto the table in front of him, getting my brother's attention within the blink of an eye. "What happened? Why did Cas just run out of this bar as if the devil was after him?" I demand to know, suddenly angry because I wasn't here when Cas obviously needed me. Sam just sighs and rolls his eyes, giving me bitch-face no. 12. What have I done?

"Dean… I really think you should talk to him. This isn't something he wants me to tell you." Sammy answers, puzzling me even more. What the hell could be so bad that Cas leaves the bar without Sam or me? He normally doesn't go home alone. I hope that he has gone home, if he ran from us I don't know what I would do. I need him so much it hurts sometimes.

"Do you know where he went?"

"Back to the bunker, I guess." Sam says. I don't wait for him to get up from the table and just leave the bar without further hesitation. I wanna get to Cas and ask him what makes him upset, I wanna grab him, hold him in my arms and never let go. I wanna whisper sweet lies into his ear about how everything will be fine. We're hunters, nothing is rarely ever fine but I would gladly die for him to make him happy so that he will be fine. If he is, so am I. I've seen the change in him ever since he fell, I've seen the way his blue eyes have become sad and sometimes even afraid. This is all new to him but I will make sure that he can make the best of his situation and though it would kill me to send him back to heaven I would make it possible for him.

While I jump into my car I realize that my feelings are boiling under the surface. They have for a while now but I ignored them the way I always do.

I think of his blue eyes again that remind me of oceans I wanna drown in. Hope. This is all I have left but he can have so much more.

Both: Red

The 67 Chevy Impala pulled to a halt in front of the bunker, tires screeching on the asphalt. Dean had made it home in less than fifteen minutes, hoping that Cas was already there because the hunter didn't know if the other man had walked home, or to another bar or out of his life. The last scenario made Dean's heart race in his chest like a rocket, it thundered against his rib cage, fear eating him up. Cas was normally a very patient and somber person, it just didn't fit into his profile that he just ran from the bar without saying a word to Sam or Dean.

With shaking hands Dean opened the door and found the lights on in their home. He breathed a sigh of relief, so Cas was here because Dean was sure he had switched off the lights before they had all left for the bar. With hesitating steps he walked down the stairs into the living area and library. As Cas wasn't here, Dean assumed that the handsome ex angel had already gone to his room, maybe he hadn't felt good tonight. But why would Sam suggest that Dean walked to Cas if it was just a bad stomach. Things didn't make sense to the hunter and he wouldn't find out if he didn't talk to his friend.

"Cas?" Dean asked, while he knocked on the other man's door that was just opposite his own, giving him a strange feeling of security and closeness. He didn't get an answer from inside Cas' room and so he creaked open the door a tiny bit to see if his angel was already asleep. The lights were out and in the dim light from the corridor Dean could see that the room was empty, the bed was neatly made, no sign that Cas was here. That left only the kitchen of the bunker and so the man walked over to where he suspected Cas was and entered without knocking.

He found the raven haired man sitting at the table, a glass of whiskey and a burger in front of him, staring at the table while his hands rested in his lap. With slight shock Dean realized that his eyes were puffy as if he had cried but his angel wouldn't cry because Cas was strong. New to being human, yes, but not really afraid, right? Dean's heart picked up speed again as he walked into the kitchen, silently sitting down next to his friend.

"Hey Cas." He greeted him but even now the blue eyes Dean loved so much wouldn't look up into his own. Castiel just stared at the glass and burger in front of him and from what Dean could see at least the burger was untouched.

"Hello Dean." Cas whispered his signature greeting but his voice sounded so damn far away and the sadness was overwhelming Dean. The hunter took a shivering breath.

"Why did you run from the bar, Feathers?" Dean asked with what he hoped compassion in his voice.

"You can stop calling me that. I don't have wings anymore." Cas answered, his voice so small that Dean barely heard him. But he did and what he heard made his heart clench painfully in his chest.

"Cas… is this about being human? Are you still not used to it? You know that I'll always be here for you, right?" Cas' eyes shot up to meet Dean's intense gaze with his soft blue orbs. The hunter's heart stumbled in his chest, he wished he could just grab Cas and kiss his pain away.

"This isn't about me being human, Dean." Each word was meant to cut like a knife. "Leave me alone. I don't wish to talk right now." The request took Dean off guard and he stared at Castiel for full ten seconds. "Leave!" The former angel added louder than necessary and Dean jumped but refused to go away. There was a pain in his chest whenever Cas was upset and he wanted him safe and happy and content. Which he obviously wasn't.

"I won't leave you alone when you're sad. You need to talk about it, otherwise it will drive you crazy."

"Yes. And it is you of all people telling me _this_?" Cas asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Are you mad at _me_? What have I done to make you angry at me? And sad?" Cas shook his head at these words, his hair wildly flying from side to side. He stood up abruptly and pushed past Dean to get out of the kitchen, his drink and food forgotten on the table.

"Don't say another word, Dean. Just leave me alone." He said before he left the kitchen, heading towards his room. His original intention was to slam the door and lock it but the hunter was after him so fast that he didn't have the chance to shut him out. "Don't. Follow. Me!" Cas snapped but Dean had his foot in between the door and wall to keep it open.

"I want you to talk to me. You repeat the mistakes I already made. Locking your feelings inside won't make them go away, they will eat you up from the inside." Dean shouted into the now furious man's face – damn, Cas was even hot when he was mad at Dean.

"Don't talk to me as if I'm a child. I lived long before mankind walked the earth, I'm not helpless."

"And you certainly don't have to be alone. What is wrong with you? Why did you run from that bar tonight?" Cas saw red.

"Don't you get it, Dean? I don't want to see you with all of these girls. I hate it when you take them home. I hate to know that you sleep with them." Cas shouted so loudly that it rang in Dean's ears.

"Why?" Dean simply asked because he just couldn't see why his promiscuous lifestyle would bother his friend. He knew he had made a mistake when Cas' mouth set in a grim line before he silently, defeated answered.

"I love you."

This was it. Within seconds Dean was all over him, pressing him back towards the bed, their lips locked in a fierce kiss as Dean slipped his tongue into Cas' mouth, making his angel moan helplessly into his mouth. They fell onto the mattress, fighting for dominance, rolling around until Dean was able to straddle Cas' hips to hold him down against the pillows. "Stupid angel." He muttered against the raven haired man's lips before he sealed them again with his own, not giving Cas the chance to say a word. The angel didn't mind though, his hands wandered into Dean's hair, curling around the short strands, grabbing them, raking his fingernails over the skin on his hunter's neck gently.

Castiel wasn't acting angelic or chaste, on the contrary, he was an eager participant in this, his tongue stroking Dean's, following his into the hunter's mouth, seeking dominance while his hands were body running down over Dean's back and back up under his shirt, making him melt into the angel's touches, pressing his body closer to Cas. When they came apart for air after a long while they were both panting heavily and staring into each others eyes before Cas broke into a wide smile and it was the most beautiful thing Dean had ever seen in his entire life because this smile was just for him and it came directly from the angel's heart to lighten up his handsome face.

"Fuck, Cas..." Dean breathed, stunned by the sight beneath him, nearly going mad from the fingertips that still wandered over his back. "I love you so." He whispered. "Always have."

The slightly smaller man took the opportunity as Dean was currently busy on trying to process all this and grabbed his waist to turn them around, smashing the other man into the mattress – reminding Dean that the angel was strong beyond his imagination. Before the younger man knew what happened, Cas slipped his tongue into his mouth again to thoroughly taste and lick every inch of it he could reach. He took his time, gentle hands gliding over newly exposed skin, their bodies moving on instinct, trying to get even closer to the other. Dean fell apart under Castiel's demanding fingers, he arched into the angel's touches, offering more of himself, more skin to be marked.

After a while the raven haired man leaned down to take the invitation, Cas was very well aware that he would leave marks on his hunter's tanned skin, on his neck, collarbones, on his shoulders and sides, on his flat stomach, around his navel and on the inside of his thighs once the men were fully naked. Shivering fingers were working their way through Castiel's hair, Dean grabbed it as an anchor as his brain was short-circuiting from what was happening. Words fell from the older Winchester's lips but Cas wasn't even sure if Dean even knew that he was trying to form words and so the angel lay down on top of his hunter, pressing their naked bodies flush together while sucking his brain out with the next devouring kiss.

Dean moaned. Pleaded and begged, he was so hard for Cas, so damn ready to be taken and he offered himself to the angel by wrapping his legs around the other man's slender hips. But the angel didn't go faster, instead he went on slowly, working Dean open, helping him to adjust to the feeling of being so vulnerable in the arms of another male being, kissing him whenever the features of the man beneath him showed a frown from the unknown sensations.

"Want you... Cas, please, I -I... Oh fuck, _Cas!_" The last word was screamed as the angel finally sheathed himself in Dean's body, filling him up, making him whole. Fingernails raked over the skin at the angel's back, making him moan in pleasure, fueling his lust for the hunter. His hunter. His to take and claim and mark as his own possession. No woman would ever dare to touch him again, they would see the marks on his skin, they would smell that another scent was all over Dean.

Cas established a slow rhythm, making sure that his hunter was enjoying what was just happening and he gasped whenever Dean's hips came up to meet his thrusts, to have him deeper still. This was Heaven, Sex had never been better or as intense as with his angel and Dean wanted more, wanted everything. He wanted to feel how his angel lost control, he wanted to hear his moans and gasps... The hunter's name tumbled from Cas' lips with the most wicked moan Dean had ever heard and he buried himself deep in Dean's body, both men trembling from being so close, so intimate and this was it for the human. The younger man lost it, he shook in Castiel's arms, forgetting who he was, forgetting why he was here, knowing that he belonged to the angel as he came, screaming Cas' name while his fingers clung to him for dear life.

Cas couldn't help it, seeing Dean like this – his head thrown back, his lips slightly parted, eyes screwed shut – sent him over the edge as well and with a final merciless thrust into Dean's shaking body he released himself, his face buried at the hunter's shoulder.

They were both breathing hard, processing what had just happened and Dean couldn't help it, he grinned like a madman, thrilled by the feeling of Cas still in his body, of his angel being so damn close. That was what he had always wanted since Cas had touched him to raise him from perdition. Cas was made just for him and Dean just lived to be with the angel.

"You're mine, now, Dean." Cas growled, still jealous when he thought back to their evening in the bar and what he had witnessed there. The next time he would walk over and make sure that the whole world could see that this gorgeous hunter was his own.

"Yes. Yes, love, I'm yours."

**END**

Maybe there will be a next time at the bar... a sequel perhaps.

Please leave a review.


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